"Write a problem on a piece of paper and put it in a dark bottle. Fill the bottle up with black coffee. Burn some lotus incense. Drink some rose ginger tea and off to bed."
"So, when you reach enlightenment I think you can either be reborn to teach the world or be reborn into a state of perfect existence; a turritopsis nutricula, better known as the immortal jellyfish."
"Onions are such flavor beings!"
"I want a manna machine."
"Do you think Urban Outfitters would trade me some clothes for some vinyl records?"
-Various Facebook statuses from September by Christmas